“Hanging on from paycheck to paycheck isn't really working, is it?”
“Mmm.” I try to pay attention to my wife, but as soon as my head hits the pillow these days I'm almost gone immediately.
“I think that until we're able to pay off some of these bills we should stay with my mother.”
“Not for long or anything. Just until we get things settled.”
I sat up.
“Listen,” she continued. “I know you don't like it but we have to do what's best for the kids. I know I can't make you go but if things get much worse....”
She rolled over and mumbled. “Unless you think you can bring home 50,000 dollars tomorrow.”
That's the thought that brought me to the county fair.
Every year the local Girl Scout groups would get together and come up with outrageous ways to make different desserts using one of their cookies as inspiration. Then they would get the students at the culinary school to help make it a reality. People could pay to taste test and vote on their favorite. The winning Girl Scout gets a prize and the winning chef gets scholarship money. Better yet, the extravagant dessert itself gets auctioned off.
These auctions can bring in at least a thousand each. With ten cakes, well, I might not get my $50k but I would be well on my way.
I came early to watch. That’s what robbers, no that sounds bad, I wasn’t robbing per say. I’m just borrowing. As soon as I get everything paid off I’ll start making anonymous contributions to the Scouts and buying cookies like they’re groceries.
Ah, here we go. People are starting to pay for their tastes and the right to vote. It’s going in a large box. Perfect. How long have I been standing here? Should I just take it now? I think people are starting to look at me. I slipped into line. I could do this. I could do this.
Just as I was getting to the front of the line the woman that was there gave way to one of the Scouts. A young girl who didn’t look too much older than my own kid.
I couldn’t do this.
“Hello, sir. Are you buying a voting ballot?”
“No.” I blurted, then watched her smile fall a little. “Oh.. no.. Oh no. I seem to have left my wallet in the car. I better go.”
I hustled back to my car, got inside, and let what I almost did sink in.
I better tell my wife to call her mom.
There’s a full moon out
And my girl just keep on howlin’
Said she gonna leave me
If I don’t come home with fifty thousand
-Bills by Lunchmoney Lewis